Movies From Earth That Was
by HerRoyalMajestyTheQueen
Summary: BtVS / FIREFLY Willow convinces Mal to give the crew a night off so she can educate them on the "Earth-That-Was Culture" - among other things. May get a sequel.
1. Fractured Fairytale

**Fractured Fairytale**

Chapter 1

"So, let me get this straight. You want me to give everyone the night off."

"Yes."

"So you can tell them a folk tale?"

"Essentially, yes."

"About a gorram princess."

"Yup."

"From the Earth-that-was."

"You got it."

"No."

"You can come too." The little red head chased Mal down the stairs as he turned away from her.

"Does it look like I'm fixin' to hear a bedtime story?" Mal asked as he tried to lose the pixie.

"Well, why not?" Hands on her hips, she looked indignant as hell... she sure was right cute when she was angry.

"'Why not?' she asks. It's a fairy tale, a kid's story, hell, it's a little girl's story if the title gives anything away."

"Don't let the title fool you. It's what we used to call a 'fractured' fairy tale."

"I'm sure."

"Jayne wants to watch it."

"Jayne? Big, sarcastic, power hungary, ape-like, Jayne?"

"Yes, I believe that would be an accurate although rather insulting description of him from your point of view." She agreed albeit reluctantly. She and Jayne had a strange relationship - being that he actually treated her with respect and she worried over his well being as a sister would. Almost from day one he held her as trustworthy - a rare thing from Jayne. The respect might stem from the incident that occurred almost immediately after they were introduced; Willow held Jayne out over a ledge when he pointed his gun at her, or, possibly it was caused by her almost immediate protection of him once the realized they were both on the same side. Somehow Mal thought it was door number one. Willow's treatment of Jayne was unexpected until you understood the way her heart and mind worked. What was unbelievable about the whole situation was how Jayne reacted too the redhead's attempts at caring for the lug - he was appreciative and _happier_ - if that was possible. Almost like the time he got the home made hat from his momma.

"Why? How did you con him into watching this...story?'

"I told him what it was about."

"He knows and still wants to watch it?"

"Of course! Once I told him some of the plot he got really excited and said something about taking notes, but I can't be sure..."

"What exactly did you tell him was in this movie."

"I just told him some of what could be expected. Basically what I remembered from a passage in the book and movie."

"And that would be?"

"S. Morgenstern's Classic Tale of True Love and High Adventure: The Princess Bride. Then he asked what I meant by high adventure, so I told him, the usual: Chases, Escapes, Revenge, Giants, Sword-fights, True love, Miracles, Pirates, Torture, Murder, Betrayal-" She hadn't taken a single breath with that speech.

"I get the point. All that is really in the story?"

"Well yeah! It's only the greatest story I have ever heard."

"Alright. You can have your evening off - provided all get their chores done in advance."

"Thanks Cap! Will you be joining us? We are gonna make protein brownies and sleep in the galley."

"No, I've got... captain-y duties to uphold." He hoped his hesitation wasn't noticeable.

"Suit yourself." The little red head left him at the door to his quarters and made her way back towards the shuttles. He stared after her momentarily, he had to have gone stark raving mad, that in the only reason he could muster tat would explain why he always got steam rolled by the tiny woman.


	2. Meeting

**MEETING**

Chapter 2

Mal met Willow several months ago while he was captured by some of Badgers' men. Willow was also in their company. When he was shoved into the same cell as Willow, most likely to scare her. What woman wouldn't be scared to be enclosed in a tiny space with a man easily twice their size, the threat of man-handling (woman-handling?) could have been very real. No doubt their captors were aware of this and perhaps they were looking for her to make a deal and give them the information they needed.

They obviously didn't know Mal - or Willow.

When they tossed him in she rushed to his side to assist him in maneuvering his battered body into a more comfortable position. She started to chatter on about being treated better by Psychotic Blood Suckers ( you could feel the capitals ), his first thought was that she must know the Alliance. His second was that she was psychotic because she began to tear at her clothes.

First it was her sleeves then the lower layers of her skirts then she started to clean him up and brace his ribs - that he most emphatically informed her of their broken status. She helped him take care of the worst wounds on his torso first then moved to delicately work on his face. Her sleeves and under skirts had long since disappeared Leaving her to rip lengths from her long outer skirt.

When his face was mostly wiped off she finally really looked at him and gasped, dropping the rag. She scuttled back on her knees and pressed herself against the far wall. Startled by this reaction he cracked a joke, "Damn girl, I knew I was bad off but I ain't never thought I'd scare a female. She looked at him, fear in her gaze for the first time, and he hadn't touched her, heck could barely breath. "You're not him?" she asked, then quickly answered herself, "Can't be. Can be touched."

Slowly she seemed to regain her calm and he dared not move for fear of provoking her. She leaned closer and almost whispered, "What is your name?"

"Captain Malcolm Reynolds, Miss. And you are?"

"Willow Rosenberg." Regaining some of her faculties she crept closer. "I'm sorry you just... reminded me of someone."

"No offense taken, Miss Rosenberg." He had remained in the exact same position, fearing that she would well... fear him.

"Willow, please. So, What'er ya in for?" She gave a weak attempt at impersonating a 'bad guy' making her voice all growly and scowling.

Despite the situation, or possibly because of it, he laughed and immediately regretted it. Wincing he sat up a little straighter and she again rushed to his aid. "Had a run in with Badger a while back and he seems to think me 'uppity'. Threw me in here because he could, and I think to frighten you. Not very bright."

"No he isn't. Thats why in approximately 3 minutes we will be leaving without the company of an escort." At his confused look she continued, "The guards change then, spoke about their lunch break, loudly. Will you be able to walk?" Nod. "Okay. Operation Free Willow is under way." Mal nearly laughed again when she rolled away from him, crawled low to the ground a few paces, then jumped back against the wall on tip toes, humming under her breath. When she reached the door she placed her ear against it, mumbled something then turned the nob. That's it, just turned the nob. No lock picking, no guns, nothing. Hoisting himself up he ambled along behind her as she, in her terms, 'scouted ahead'.

Just as they neared an exit a blast rang out and Mal tackled Willow from behind taking some debris from the explosion. When he rolled over and raised his head it was to confront Jayne and Zoe who were just as shocked to see him. Before he could inform Jayne and Zoe that he was okay, Jayne pointed his weapon at a struggling to rise Willow. One minute Willow is freezing under Jayne's glare and the next she has him dangling from a guard rail. We were all so shocked that neither Zoe nor myself could think to defend the big lug.

"That's just bad manners, pulling a gun on an fellow Badger hater. You look like an intelligent fella, You have a choice play nice and help us get out of here or don't and say night-night."

Jayne gulped and said, "Ain't no harm done, just taken care to protect myself Ma'am. I'd appreciate being placed nice and easy like on the walkway." Willow gently placed him on the walk and he responded with an appropriately cowed look and, "Thank you kindly." So shocked by the display Zoe nearly was hit with the opening door.

We all turned toward the door as Zoe knocked the entering goon out solidly with the stock of her shotgun. We made our way out of doors and towards the now shuttle; just when we were in reach of the shuttle Badger's men reached the exit and we were under fire. While running up the ramp Jayne turned to give us cover fire, Willow just ahead of him saw the goon hiding behind a nearby cargo container, taking aim and dove to push him out of the way. Jayne oblivious to the flying red head was taken off guard and stumbled sideways slightly but did not fall.

Instinctively catching the woman he felt her body jerk just after she had settled. She took a bullet for him.

He slung her over his shoulder followed the trajectory of the bullet to the weasel in hiding and lit him up but good. Backing into the aircraft he hit the button to close the shuttle.

They reached 'Serenity' quickly and docked. Everyone with the exception of Wash was on the grating outside the shuttle door. Jayne hadn't even set Willow down when Simon directed him and myself to the infirmary. When Jayne placed Willow on the hospital chair and backed up i could see the blood running down his arm and side where she had been draped. Sitting on the counter I watched the doc work on her, and I watched Jayne standing silently in the corner, decidedly out of the way clenching his fists. Wondering at his reaction and although I'd be loath to admit it apprehensive and slightly jealous that he might have feelings for his pint size hero.

Simon had stabilized Willow and took care of his injuries commenting on their exceptional treatment with the lack of materials. While Willow recovered I filled the crew in on the events and the troubles with Badger as best I could.

She had been with us ever since. We have meet some of her family along our travels and right now we are housing not only Willow but a few of her family as well. We have learned about her and her family's past, even who they are. After some initial disbelief and Wash's observation that it sounded like science fiction she received unexpected support from Zoe with a calm, "You live on a space ship, dear," followed by, "So, a portal huh?" And the rest is, as they (whoever they are) say, history.


	3. Feature Presentation

**Feature Presentation  
**

Chapter 3

Tonight was what she liked to call, 'Movie Night'. She conned me into giving the crew the evening off as well to watch a movie she titled 'The Princess Bride'.

I'm sitting in my quarters listening to the ruckus in the common area and despite my arguments earlier I am curious to see what is causing all of the commotion. Curiosity getting the best of me I walk to the commons and make my way to the Galley to retrieve the- whatever it was that I will use as an excuse, and bring it back to my room. When I enter the commons I see that there are people draped over nearly all surfaces in the room.

I walk into the kitchen and look over the partisan and see that Jayne really is taking notes, Kaylee has a dreamy look on her face and hasn't once looked away from the screen, Simon is right beside her glancing at her every so often, Zoe and Wash are sharing a chair together, Willow is leaning against Jayne, and Faith and Dawn are whispering to River, trying to explain to her that she can't say the lines before they happen in the movie. River just smiles at Dawn and says, "As you wish," making Faith nearly choke and Dawn's eyes go wide.

Wonder what that was about.

I start to rifle thru the nearest cabinet, all I see are packs and packs of protein, uh!

"Hello! My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father, prepare to die!" I cracked my head on the cabinet at that outburst. "Hun dan," in exclaim quietly and stand up hoping no one noticed.

Willow of course has noticed and looks from my eyes to my where my hand it rubbing the back of my head, where it stills at her gaze. She smiles and makes her way towards me. No one else notices.

In the kitchen area she walks up to me and gets very close. I can smell her soap, it's soft and smooth, not flowery. She reaches up to my shoulders and gently prods me to turn and sit. Once seated she then runs her warm fingers though my hair, feeling for bumps. My flesh ripples at the contact and nearly shiver.

She moves away and opens the ice box, removing an ice tray. Just like the first time I met her she uses the clothes right off of her back to help me, literally uses her scarf to wrap the ice in. She holds it to my head and I remained silent.

Taking it from her I turn in the chair to look up (err...over) at her and suddenly the kitchen is way to confining.

I am about ready to stand when she leans forward - I freeze - Is she gonna kiss me? She looks up at my face and gives me a big smile that I can't help but return, then- leans back??

She's got something in her hand. A brownie. Oh. They were behind me.

She lifts it to my lips and says, "here taste." Gorram, if she only knew. I open my mouth and she slides the small piece of bro- chocolaty heaven -into my mouth an it is wonderful. "Protein?" Is the only thing I can think to say before I damn near take her hand off trying to get the rest of the brownie.

"Nope." I melted down some of my secret stash and made real brownies. I wrapped some up to save for you before anyone else got any."

"There's more?"

"Well, that depends?"

Suspicious, "on what?"

"Whether or not you'll watch a movie with me later."

"What kind of movie?"

"I'll let you pick."

"What's the catch?" there's something she ain't telling me.

"Gos se," Her cheeks tinged with red, then she got her 'resolve face' and blurted out, "It'll just be you and me."

Oh. Oooh.


	4. Brokeback What?

**Brokeback what?**

Chapter 4

Like it was a hard decision...

"No."

"No?"

"No."

"I thought you said I could pick?"

"I did, but I never said that I couldn't veto."

"Pray tell, what do you suggest then?"

"Anything other than that."

"What is wrong with 'Brokeback Mountain'?

"I don't think you'll like it."

"What's not to like: cowboys, wild animals, open skies..."

"They're gay."

"What? No they aren't, they're cowboys."

"Yes, gay cowboys."

"..." Contemplating, "Is this a joke?"

"No they really are, read the insert."

"...oh...let's pick another. How about this one, 'Titan Dick?"

"WHAT?! Where did that come from?" Willow leaned over Mal's shoulder to see what mini disc he picked up -

"Hon, That says, 'Titanic'"

"Really? Huh. Your handwriting is really sloppy." Pause. "Did you call me, 'Hon?'"

"…" Blush. "Yeah, um, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to imp-"

"Sugar, I don't mind. In fact, I reckon I like it. Let's go put this here film on."

"Mal, that's The Breakfast club."

"I always had a soft spot for redheads." Blush. "They blush real pretty."


	5. Chapter 5

Movie Night became a regular tradition for the crew of Serenity.

They would all crowd into the galley and watch a film they had "voted in" the week before. They enjoyed watching science fiction and comparing what their ancestors thought the universe would be like in the future and to reality. They watched comedies from all eras but mostly they enjoyed action or adventure movies.

One evening Willow transferred a movie called, "The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring," onto a hologram projection.

After supper the crew got comfortable, made snacks and choose seating carefully. Couples paired up to snuggle: Wash and Zoe, Simon and Kaylee, Mal and Will, Jayne and Vera…. Others sat in dog piles on the floor like Dawn, River and Xan. When the crowd settled Willow began the hologram playback.

******

"The party is making me hungry. Pass the popcorn..." Dawn stage whispered to Faith.

"Get your own."

"That is mine."

"Shhh!"

"Sorry." "Sorry."

*******

"Eep!" Kaylee hid her face in Simon's chest and he smoothed her hair behind her head.

"S'ok now. The Black riders are gone."

******

"That leaves you out Pip."

Snicker.

Giggle.

*******

"My Precious!"

A few of them snickered and looked over to Jayne as he clutched Vera to his chest.

******

"..But I'm coming with you."

Willow smiled down and Xander and made eye contact, for just a moment they shared a smile.

******

"What do you mean it's a three part movie? That was over three hours long! You mean I have to sit through two - TWO! more movies like that?" Mal was screaming… sorry… emphatically questioning Willow just after the credits began rolling.

Xander gave Willow a pitying look. They had forgotten the reactions people had when the movie came out. Many had not realized that there was not going to be a resolution, and they had neglected to tell the others.

"We have the other two! You don't have to wait to watch them…. They are really good! More battles and everything…"

The quelling look Mal gave her made her lip tremble just slightly.

Before Xander could protest Mal's behavior… "Aw, Hell. Will, I ain't mad at 'cha. I just wasn't satisfied and now I'm frustrated. Please don't cry."

Everyone crept out of the room as Mal hugged Willow close, so they missed the quirk of Willows lips as she whispered into Mal's ear. "Oh, so you're frustrated and want to be satisfied huh?"

As the last one out Xander thought he heard Mal yelp but he must have been mistaken.


End file.
